BlAh

Well no good news here... I have been at the stoma nurse now twice within two weeks time and still there is no solution to my problems. There is only one soft convex flange available in my country so that's the only option for me. But the problem is that I've become allergic to it. I have a rash that itches like crazy. Today I got some large cohesive seals that I'm using now and so far it feels pretty comfortable. It's still itchy but not as badly. Also the flange seems to stick better around my navel area so that's always a good thing, I don't feel so vulnerable with it.

Anyways, the wound on the side of the stoma is still hurting a lot and not getting any better. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever get rid of it. Also the wound on the opening of the stoma isn't getting any better. When I move it feels like someone is ripping the wounds open as the flange presses against them and makes the skin move. So the only comfortable position is on my left side lying on the bed or sofa... Yay. My apartment is starting to look like hoarders apartment as I can't do any cleaning, I'm unable to bend almost at all and the whole thing just feels so uncomfortable all the time. It feels like a big piece of plastic that has been glued to my stomach that's pressing against the wounds and pulling everything down. I know I'll get used to the flange eventually, but now it still feels really bad and it's on my mind 24/7.

I still need to wake up every hour with alarm clock so I can go and empty the bag. It doesn't seem to matter how little I eat, or at what time I eat. But I guess this will be my fate for the rest of my life as it's not like my body hasn't gotten used to having no large bowl as I had J-pouch for years. If I could just get rid of the pain and be able to move around like a normal person. I feel so confined and really like an invalid as I can't even walk properly :(

And one thing I really hate is the smell! Yes it smells, no matter what I do. I change the flange every day and I block the air valve with stickers but still the smell comes out... And I can totally remember my stoma nurse telling me there is never any smelling problems with stomas... Oh really?!?!? I'm guessing she has never really met people with stomas... Though I do have an extra sensitive nose as well as an extra sensitive skin so that might be one of the reasons this is so hard on me. But my boyfriend has also noticed that I do smell in the morning when I come out from under the covers... Not really looking foward to beeing a smelly person for the rest of my life, any ideas? I've used some stoma deodorants but they are really not working at all...

Oh I'm so waiting for the day when I can come here and write something positive about my stoma! But right now I just can't :(