Today is my birthday

Today I'm turning 33 :) I feel so super old! I'm not sure if it's the age or all the stuff Ive gone trough in my life that make me feel like an old hag. I know that sorrow, paind and suffering will make you look older then you really are and I really feel like this, though my friend assure me it's not so :D But I just feel like my life has already gone, all the good days are behind me and now I'm just waiting... For what? I don't even know. I'm waiting for my life to just pass me as it has for the last 5 years. And these were supposed to be the best years of ones life! I'm an adult but still have my whole life ahead of me. But as I'm not really looking foward to the future it surely doesn't feel that way.

But I don't want to only moan about my sorry ass life :D I do try to stay positive it's just that... Well I'm not a very positive person to begin with. I always expect the worst (except in this ileostomy situation as I really did hope for some improvement on my life) so that when something nice happens (rarely) I can really enjoy it. but I'm not so sure if that's the best way to live. I need some happiness coaching or someting :D How to be positive for a day :D

Anyway this is me, with my new short hair turning 33 :D No make-up and no extra special posing, just me the way I am. Not very pretty, rather odd looking gobbling... Or a troll as  my boyfriend affectionately calls me (I'd rather be a fairy XD).So happy Birhday me and lets hope this year will be better the the last one :)